Archive for Adoption

Open Adoption, How We Became a Family…

I am often asked about how we came to open adoption and how we manage having the birth families a part of our boys lives.

A dear friend of mine Lolly De Jonge produced a television series called Transformation to Parenthood and asked me to tell our story.

Here is the episode, our segment starts about 12 minutes in, but the entire show is well worth watching.


Birthday Musings & Memories

9 years ago today Cory and I went and celebrated my Mom’s birthday and quietly sat without telling anyone that we “MAY” have a match in our adoption process.

We were hopeful but cautious…so many of the processes do not end with a successful adoption.  So we were quiet, optimistic and scared.

After Mom’s party Cory and I decided to tell Mom and my sister Lynn about our potential match.  After a long and heartfelt talk we decided we just needed a bit more health information and we were ready to commit on our end.

NOTE: Our adoption is an open adoption which means that the birth family and the adoptive family “choose” one another and negotiate contact and how the relationship will look in the future.

We were told that Heather (our birth Mom) would be induced on Nov 1st so we had a week or so to get ready.  To be clear a week is NOT enough : ) The next morning, Oct 24th we have a conversation with the adoption agency and with Heather about our health concerns and we knew we had a match.  YIKES!

So 1 week to prepare…

The next morning, Oct 25th we were in our weekly staff meeting and I get a call from the agency, I was expecting a call for paperwork or some other details but the voice simply says “Congratulations your son was born this morning.”

I am overwhelmed and find myself in tears…of joy. I tell Cory and the staff meeting quickly ends.

All I want to do is go to the hospital and get my son.

However there is a 24 hour waiting period…to provide the space for the birth Mom/family to change their mind about their adoption plan and just spend time with the baby.

That, my friends is a LONG 24 hours, waiting to see if she changes her mind…on the other hand 24 hours is no where near long enough to get ready to bring home a baby!  Bassinetes, bottles, diapers, soothers, clothes, blankets all alien to both Cory and I, thank God for dear friends Glenn & Lisa and Susan & Hugh. I will be eternally grateful to all of you.

The next morning was one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching days of my life.  Imagine the joy of adding an amazing little soul to your family but at the same time being present and witnessing the pain, sadness and loss of the birth mother.  For over an hour Heather hands Wyatt to Cory, bursts into tears and Cory hands him back and bursts into tears…I watch shoot video and cry, tears of joy and empathy.  All the while I just want to hold my boy but doing my best to just make space for this miraculous process unfolding before my eyes. Wyatt sleeps through all of this never opening his eyes, even when he was being fed. Heather, your courage and clarity in making an adoption plan for “OUR” little man will remain one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.  Thank you is no where near adequate.

IMG_1243Finally, Cory walks over to me and places the little man in  my arms…and I start talking to him welcoming him to the world and our family.  Instantly he opens his eyes and looks at me…actually peers to and what felt like through my soul.  I instantly knew that he was meant to be my son, that he just came to our family in an unusual route.  That day is emblazoned upon my being.

Here we are, Wyatt nine years old this Saturday, your arrival changed our lives in so many ways for the better.  I cannot describe the joy, pride and love I have for you.


Happy birthday my son. The next 9 years will fly by (even faster I suspect) and you will be off to university or some other epic adventure. Your Mom and I will do our best to support and prepare you for whatever that is.

In the meantime lets keep having fun playing swords, street hockey and whatever else you want to do. PLEASE try not to hurt me with your slap shot, and above all keep making space for the most important thing in life – family (immediate, extended and birth).

I love you with all my heart and am proud to be your Dad, I know you will grow up to be an amazing man.

Love Dad